A TERRIFYINGLY HUGE SEPHORA GRATIS HAUL

Holy crow what happened here? I missed a few monthly gratis hauls so I decided to do one jumbo collective haul and it's grown into a monster. I had no idea how much I'd been given until I started gathering everything together for photographs. I'm not even sure how to handle a post this size. Do I talk about everything? Do I just list it all? In the end I tried to do something in between - a very brief synopsis of each product. Also, don't worry, immediately after this I'll go take myself out back and flog myself silly for being so spoiled (and not in a kinky 50 Shades kind of way, I promise).

DAMN, THAT'S SOME SOFT HAIR

Apparently it's time for a post about something outrageously expensive. I received the Alterna Haircare Caviar Anti-Aging Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner in my gratis a few days ago. I hadn't really given the line much thought because, let's face it, anyone that calls their haircare “caviar” is kind of a douchecanoe. Well, it turns out that I must be somewhat of a douchecanoe myself because, having now used this lavish duo, I'm surprisingly tickled.

SHU UEMURA ULTIMATE REMEDY HAIR MASQUE

I've mentioned the Shu Uemura Ultimate Remedy Hair Masque a few times before, but I've never given it the proper ego tickling that it deserves. Today is the day that it gets the royal treatment because this is without a doubt the most glorious product ever to have touched my hair.

SNIP SNIP, CHOP CHOP: THE LOB

Finally, it's done! I've been wanting to do the chop for ages now, but I'm a total hair-cutting-phobic. When I returned from Europe, however, I was feeling confident and ready to make some changes. My sister, who is also my hairdresser, and I had planned to slowly take up the length so as not to freak me out. I headed over to her house one morning and we cut off a few inches. I went on with my day and the hair loss didn't frighten me at all, so I decided “frack it, let's finish the job!” Later that night we chopped the rest and I was absolutely tickled!

MARCH FAVOURITES

March was a very minimal makeup month. I really didn't reach for too much outside of the usual mascara/concealer/powder type of business. However there were a few makeup bits I particularly enjoyed this month, as well as something for the hair and for the body.

HOW TO ADD VOLUME TO YOUR HAIR

Who doesn't like big hurr, amiright? I'm not talking about beauty queen hair. I just mean a little summin summin so your precious locks aren't looking flaccid. Anyone else like to slip in foul words every now and then? Now I have quite a lot of hair. I know this because every hair dresser I've ever been to remarks “wow, you have quite a lot of hair” and my powers of deduction are impeccable. However, the quantity of my hair certainly doesn't guarantee it looking voluminous and lush. I find that it still tends to fall flat at the top of my head. I've discovered a few products and techniques in the past year that have helped prevent any cases of limpness – my little blue pills if you will. Hey-oh!

THE HALF BUN

I've fallen in love with a new hair style – the half bun. You may have noticed the mild obsession if you follow me on Pinterest. I don't know what it is about it. I mean, I know it's an unusual look, but I just can't get enough of it. Maybe it's the granola eating hippy in me trying to climb its way out. At any rate, it's what I've been sporting at work most days of late. I've enjoyed pairing it with either a graphic eye or a bold lip in an attempt to keep it looking somewhat edgy and not just like I forgot to wash my hair for a week and now I'm running with it. So what do you guys think? Chic or filthy hippy?

THE SOFTEST HAIR

I have beaten the crud out of my hair in the past few years. It's basically hanging on for dear life at this point. I've bleached, dyed, permed (I don't have an explanation for that one), relaxed and heat styled it to hell and back. I should be ashamed of myself. But hey, I like changing it up and I'm probably not about to stop anytime soon. So when I discovered this product combo that helps makes my hair feel somewhat like hair again I was pretty happy.

THE BODY SHOP IS BACK

I was down to the dregs of my Ren Evercalm Cleansing Milk so I decided to place an order with The Body Shop to stock up on some more cleanser... and then somehow other things found their way into my basket too. What? Who put those there?! Anyways, most satisfyingly, the day that my Ren Cleansing Milk bestowed upon me it's final pump, the package from The Body Shop arrived. And cleansing was had once more. As well as some shampooing and spraying of good smells. So what did I get you ask? (Please ask). Well my friends, let me tell you!

DIY SEA SALT SPRAY FOR BEACHY HAIR

I have to say I love that effortless, beachy, I did nothing to it, but my hair looks fabulous look. Kate Hudson anyone? I think everyone would like to feel like a natural beauty and there's something about beachy waves that read that way. Sea salt spray is an awesome way to help get that look. You just spray it into damp or dry hair and your hair will dry (or re-dry) with more texture and wave. There are loads of brands doing these sprays, most notably Bumble & Bumble with their Surf Spray, but I find it hard to fork over such a large sum of money for something that's so easy to make at home. So here's a quick little DIY sea salt spray recipe for you guys:

DRY SHAMPOO FOR YOU

I can't stand the feeling of my hair getting greasy, but I still only wash it every other day because the last thing I want is to stimulate any more oil production. Dry shampoo is a Godsend for those of us stuck in this dilemma. It does a good job absorbing oil and preventing that "I just rolled out of the 90's" stringy hair look while you're waiting for a wash. As my sister is a hair stylist, I've been lucky enough to try a fair few dry shampoos over time and I think these two that I've got picked out today are among the most impressive for a few different reasons.

JUNE FAVOURITES

I wasn’t quite sure what products to pick this month to be honest. I haven’t actually been wearing a ton of makeup lately and I’ve simplified my skincare for now. But when I thought about it, these guys had to be the real standouts. They are the heroes Gotham deserves. Oh, wait, I’m getting confused.

MY MAIN MEN FOR MAY... MAY FAVOURITES

May favourites man! For all of you guys this is just one of many, many May favourites, but for me this is an exciting, albeit slightly self indulgent, moment. I have watched and read about people’s May favourites for years, so to finally post about my own... well it’s safe to say I’ve already wet myself three times this morning. Annnnd again just now. I’ll dive in right away because I am really good at accidentally making monster posts.

BEST ONLINE BEAUTY SHOPS

Please allow me to ruin your life with an online shopping addiction just as I have done to myself. I insist. Don’t struggle, you’ll only sink faster. I’ve banded together what I find to be the best places online to find beauty products. I know depending on your country there are probably much better places, but I’ve tried to pick sites that are available and affordable worldwide. Onward ho: